Episode 40 – Love-Centered Leadership: Transforming Lives & Businesses with Carolyn Cooper

Todd Bertsch: 0:05

Welcome to the Bolt Podcast. I’m Todd Bertsch, keynote speaker, entrepreneur, and mental fitness coach. I’m here to help you unlock your leadership potential and ignite your personal growth. On the Bolt, my guests and I will dive into inspiring stories of transformation, showing how small shifts in mindset can lead to life-changing benefits. We’ll explore strategies for overcoming challenges, building high-performance habits, and leading with confidence. If you’re ready to embrace a growth mindset and unlock your full potential, then let’s ignite your spark today. Today’s guest is Carolyn Cooper, the visionary guide behind the Aim High System and the Love Inspired Leadership podcast. With four decades of experience, she empowers leaders and visionaries to boldly unleash their authentic power. Her work ignites transformation, guiding others to let love lead, honor their truth and create legacies with energy, purpose, and courage. Listeners, you’re going to love this episode, Carolyn. Welcome to the Bold Podcast, my friend.

Carolyn Cooper: 1:15

Thank you, Todd, and honestly, you are my friend. I mean, we met and I felt this incredible synergy and alignment with the way you’re showing up to make a difference in this world is so much in alignment, and I love building relationships with people who speak the level of truth and commitment and conviction that you share from, so I am honored to be here.

Todd Bertsch: 1:45

I love that conviction. Yeah, it’s interesting. We just met through another mutual acquaintance friend through podcasting and it’s funny because I don’t know if I shared this with you, but in our kind of introduction call a few weeks ago I was having a pretty crappy day. I was in a bad kind of mindset for having an introduction call. It was later in the day, like two o’clock, which is never good for me.

Carolyn Cooper: 2:12

I usually lose my your dishwasher broke.

Todd Bertsch: 2:15

Yeah, my dishwasher and my trash disposal.

Todd Bertsch: 2:22

Yeah. So a double wh whammy had to replace both and I had just learned that news right before our call. And but yeah, you just got me, it was the best thing. I’m so glad I thought about canceling. I’m like, no, I’m just going to have it and it was the best thing for me that day. So you and I just connected your energy, your, it was just a breath of fresh air. So enough about us and how wonderful we are and the connections that we make and the connection that you and I made instantly. But it is a true testament to building real connections. And I’ve had a few guests recently on my show and that has been the topic of how to build real, authentic conversations, whether that’s through networking, referrals, go-giver, curiosity, you know, there’s all types of different ways and I think today our topic is really going to be focused on love. Right, we’re going to focus on love.

Todd Bertsch: 3:21

That’s a big mantra for you. We’re going to focus on love. That’s a big mantra for you. But before we dig in, carolyn, I would love to just I really like to set up the listeners, give them a little bit of history. So you have four decades of amazing experience in a Cliff Notes matter. Just tell us a little bit about these four decades and what brought you here today and how you found your calling your purpose.

Carolyn Cooper: 3:46

So 40 years has gone by like a blink of my eye.

Carolyn Cooper: 3:49

I will tell you that and when I discovered entrepreneurship, I fell madly in love with the opportunity to write my own check. To write my own check, to manifest my own success, to realize this enormous opportunity to be bold to that started, you know, in my 20s, has never ceased, never. And my journey has been this willingness to stay purposeful and passionate on the path to success. And when I love what I do, when I am inspired to be creative and innovative and meaningful in my purpose of being a steward and a servant to serve from my highest self, is when I’m the most joy-filled. When I oof, I just got truth bumps all over.

Carolyn Cooper: 5:10

It’s when it’s during that time that I know I’m in the flow, that I know that this is what I’m meant to do, and many times I have let go to lead, which is one of my phrase that pays. That I call it, and I’ve had the willingness to let things go that have been successful. And I know you have done this because we had that conversation when we talked last time, conversation when we talked last time, and it’s, you know, truly my journey has been one of a commitment to keep learning and growing and expanding and aiming higher and rising up. That I call above the line to be inspired myself. I mean, my business is called the Inspired Connection. I better live that way in order to be authentic in my position to serve the businesses around the globe. And the power of authenticity and love is the highest frequency and vibration that we can function from. And that’s when things happen with ease, with grace, with presence, and it just feels incredibly delicious and yummy.

Todd Bertsch: 6:38

Wow, where do we go from there? That was beautiful. Well, juan, kudos to you for that was beautiful. Well, juan, kudos to you for one finding that in your 20s my gosh.

Todd Bertsch: 6:51

I feel like and this is one of my saboteurs that’s always beating up on me you’re too late, you’re so far behind, you’re approaching 55 years old and I just found mine, carolyn. I’ve been searching for my purpose and I’ve been fulfilled-ish throughout the years, but it wasn’t until I made this most recent pivot where I truly found bliss, happiness, and I’ve been able to find pieces of flow, like just a taste, and it’s like oh, oh, man, that is absolutely like you say delicious, right. There’s nothing like that. It’s almost like a meditative state, unconsciously, just in a beautiful groove. So, anyhow, but good for you, you found it and you stayed on it and you continued to stay on purpose, and we have a lot of entrepreneurs and business leaders that listen to the show, and I think that’s a great lesson is to always make sure you still have the passion right, because you can lose it and the purpose and the purpose right, because you can lose it easily.

Todd Bertsch: 8:05

We get into business because there’s a problem Right, we’ve seen that there’s a gap to fill. We have this passion and all this expertise in this particular service or industry, doing all the things not necessarily the one thing that we enjoyed and had the passion and purpose for because now we’re starting to build and scale and we’re CFO, we’re HR, we’re ops right, and that’s what happened to me. I’m a graphic designer by trade and I started the business doing that and then I started doing all these other things and I’ve enjoyed learning the most essential pillars of running a business. Absolutely. I don’t regret that, but it wasn’t where my true heart is, my passion, my purpose, which is helping others and designing, creating, being creative, and I’ve been able to bring all of my skill sets into this one beautiful ecosystem, and so I tell people I got there, I finally found right, but the thing is it’s not the end.

Carolyn Cooper: 9:19

It’s just the beginning, right it’s?

Todd Bertsch: 9:22

just the beginning. So it’s not about stopping when you get to that summit-ish, I’ll be happy when that is the worst thing you could possibly do. So I know we’re going to go down a ton of rabbit holes and that’s totally fine.

Carolyn Cooper: 9:36

I want to weave in one story. I’m dying to tell it right now, is it okay?

Todd Bertsch: 9:40

if I tell it, let’s go. No, absolutely let’s go for it.

Carolyn Cooper: 9:50

And you’re going to tell me that this is the truth. Okay, so we never do this alone. We never do it alone. So there was a point in time that someone said something, someone supported you, someone directed you in a specific direction, that opened yourself up to this. That’s what happened to me with the woman, when I was 18 years old, who gave me this key.

Todd Bertsch: 10:07

Let’s talk about the key.

Carolyn Cooper: 10:08

Wow, and she was in her 80s and I was in my 20s. Her name was Emma. I am living her legacy and I think you know, if it wasn’t for her, I would not be who I am, and I’m so enormously grateful.

Carolyn Cooper: 10:30

So she gave me this key to open the doors to opportunity for me, and she helped me understand one thing, and it’s this I used to be in sales. I was the top sales rep in Western Canada in the beauty industry in my early 20s. I bought a home two blocks from the ocean when I was 21 years old, so I had all this financial abundance and I really was very blessed. And the reason I was so successful is for what she said to me. One story, one comment changed my mindset, changed my motivation and changed my inspiration, and it’s this she said she would sit across from me at this coffee shop we used to meet at, and I felt like a blossoming butterfly every time I was with her. I mean, she loved me, she believed in me, she saw me, and she’d say how much did you sell this month in hair products and face creams? I said you know $42,000. And she’d say, wow, think about how those people, each person is feeling about themselves. Think of how beautiful when they look in the mirror, think of how those products transformed their experience and how they’re loving themselves.

Carolyn Cooper: 12:02

I mean, in that moment it stopped me in my tracks. I went, oh, my goodness, well, I’m not selling $5 bottles of shampoo or 15 bottles dollar bottles of face cream. I’m representing the opportunity for people to fall in love with themselves, to bring that love to their kids, to bring that love to their kids, to their husbands, to their families, to their career. Well, I better get on it. Chop, chop, carolyn. You better figure out how to sell more.

Carolyn Cooper: 12:37

So that’s what I did, and the concept of this has carried me my whole career. And it’s this that we need to discover the deeper meaning in our service, in why we’re selling our products. It’s not about the thing, it’s about the reason, the meaning. So that changed me forever, and she also taught me a number of other principles that I’ve created a 21 day above the line transformational series. That is going to be my gift for your audience to receive too. So it’s Emma’s living legacy that I am living with this key, and my job is to inspire people to really focus on what matters most in their life and their business, and that, to me, is love business.

Todd Bertsch: 13:56

And that to me is love.

Carolyn Cooper: 13:58

Wow, what a story. I absolutely love that story. And what a child. And I grew up with a mentally ill mother that had schizophrenia and bipolar. So I was a lost teenager and I would have lunch with Emma and she would put me on my path. She would set me straight. Carolyn, think above the line. Think about curiosity and solution. Think about how you can bring more love into your life. Make the decision to let go of doubt, fear, lack, fear, lack being a victim. It’s your decision. What you choose to manifest in your life. Connect to what matters most, your purpose, your passion, and take intentional action. I believed her, thank you.

Carolyn Cooper: 15:02

God that I did and you know she I mean it’s one person can make a significant difference in your life, and they’re probably in your life right now. And what I did is I stepped up and I asked for support, which is what my mother never did. She just suffered deeply, intensely.

Todd Bertsch: 15:29

Unfortunately a lot of people, especially males, and that’s changing a little bit with the stigma of asking for help. But wow, what incredible. And let me ask you this If Emma would not have been in your life, do you think you would be in the position you are today?

Carolyn Cooper: 15:49

Absolutely no Clear.

Todd Bertsch: 15:53

Isn’t that crazy.

Carolyn Cooper: 15:59

It is you have that one person in your life that you do love, that you see that’s struggling, that you see that doesn’t know the path forward, thinking above the line or realizing that this incredible life that we get to live is a glorious opportunity to love and to bring love back to life.

Carolyn Cooper: 16:22

You know, reach out to them because you know, when you speak of men and this is where I wanted to go today to be honest- is that there’s so many men suffering Men, oh, there’s men suffering because they don’t have the confidence within themselves to speak, where they are struggling to really look at the authentic truth about what isn’t working. And you know, I just think honestly, todd, what you know and what you have learned and what you now live is there to support men, to end the suffering and the isolation and the pain emotionally, because men want to love. They just don’t know how to. And for us women, I believe it’s our job to crack them open.

Carolyn Cooper: 17:21

It’s like lead with love, speak deep truth, even if it’s uncomfortable which is what I journaled about this morning, because we need to come together here to heal, we need to step up with compassion, with thoughtfulness, with kindness, and hold this space for grace for people to feel safe enough to speak their truth.

Carolyn Cooper: 17:51

Because your journey only happened because you felt safe enough to speak your truth and then you let it go and made a new decision and decided to, I know, to think, live and lead above the line with loving yourself, with loving your family more, with loving your children and loving what you’re doing. See, to me, the truth is, love is all there is really, and we distract ourselves with doubt, fear, blame, lack, regret, anger and negative self-talk Not on my watch, complaining not on my watch. I’m going to love you through that, because so for me. My dream is for men to realize that connecting to their heart and feeling, even if it hurts, is the way through to change everything. And I mean, can you talk a little bit about your journey with this? I mean it’s a brave journey to take. It means that you’re going to change right.

Todd Bertsch: 19:00

Yeah, no, absolutely when to go. A lot to unpack there, but I absolutely agree. I think there are a lot of men who are struggling right now. Scores, unfortunately, people in general are struggling, which, in turn, is affecting our companies, right, and we’re losing lots of productivity, which is what most people care about. But whatever, right, we have to get there. So, to get there, you really have to care for your people and you need to have that get there. So, to get there, you really have to care for your people and you need to have that unconditional love and we talk about this in Positive Intelligence. But that unconditional love starts with you. You have to have that, and that can be a very difficult journey to get there.

Todd Bertsch: 20:03

It’s not something that just happens overnight, because we all have baggage and we’re all being sabotaged every single day, all throughout the day. Right, so many negative thoughts throughout the day. It’s so easy to go down and spiral, but we can change our mindset, but we still we have to do some reflection. We have to be able to get vulnerable enough to look in the mirror and just say you know what I love you. Man, like you made so many mistakes, so many failures, but, like Buddha said all we have is the breath we’re taking right now. You cannot change that. Let it go, man, move on. What you can do is right now, with this breath, that breath, the next breath, and continue that concept.

Todd Bertsch: 20:54

When I heard that concept from Buddha, that landed with me because I was, I’ve made a tremendous amount of mistakes, and I’m not talking about failures, but stuff I’ve done. I’m like, man, you were an asshole. Why did you do that? And that was for a lot of reasons, right, and that’s why I did the work with positive intelligence. I didn’t have the patience, I didn’t have a pause button, I just reacted judgmental, I didn’t lead with empathy, all these things. So this was a journey.

Todd Bertsch: 21:27

But the one thing, though, about all this, carolyn, is you have to be willing to make that change. Right, so you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force him to drink it. So how do you? What I’m really interested in and I’ve been talking about this on every show, and it’s it’s percolating a book, but I haven’t, I haven’t landed on the exact. I have all the components, but that main concept and it’s how do we get people to be open enough to want to change? So, and we can go down and talk about that for quite some time.

Todd Bertsch: 22:07

But I think if we come into this with love, which is really kind of the epicenter of everything that you’ve talked about, love is all there is, and a big part of what I do and what I talk about is leading with empathy, and empathy is, in my opinion, all love-based and positive intelligence is all about shifting from the saboteurs, the negative thoughts, to the positive thoughts, which are sage. Our sage brain and you know what the sage brain is all built on Love. So we’re talking the same language. Where do we go from here? Cause I feel like we could dig into love because love is a can be a strange word, right.

Todd Bertsch: 22:52

When you talk about it in the workplace when you’re not talking about direct family and friends. Right, it can be elusive, so I don’t know.

Carolyn Cooper: 23:03

I’ll let you where do we want to go from here? I know exactly where I’m going to go from here, so I’m just going to share that. I’ve been teaching in business for almost 40 years business planning, keynote, speaking, a lot of different realms of speaking over the life and I would never talk about love. I would talk about leadership. I would talk about, uh, you know, memorable customized client care. I would talk about, um, you know, uh, authentic, uh, truth marketing.

Carolyn Cooper: 23:45

It’s very interesting because I had this stigma and the world does too around this word love. Well, you know, shouldn’t really talk about that in business, Carolyn, you know, isn’t it just a little bit too soft? And you know it’s those. You know heartfelt, soft, and you know it’s those, you know heartfelt. You know you know cushy things.

Carolyn Cooper: 24:12

Well, I made a decision quite some time ago that, yes, I am going to talk about love and business and I’m going to talk about bringing love back to life in business, because the businesses are struggling, they’re suffering, they are desperate right now, and it is, as you say, to care about your people, your employees, your teams, your clients in memorable ways.

Carolyn Cooper: 24:35

That loyalty grows, because they make the decision to want to stay, because of the love-inspired leadership that are running those organizations, and this love-inspired leadership, I think, is going to change the world.

Carolyn Cooper: 24:57

That’s the path that you’re on, that’s the path that I’m on, and there’s many other people in the world that are stepping up right now. I’m meeting them, and so are you. It’s time now to take on this level of depth of responsibility, to step up, show up and speak up the truth about what this represents and create a world that cares about each other, that is prosperous in every form, that there is a level of appreciation for, for the contributions that people make. So that kind of energy and vibration is much higher than survival, which is thinking below the line. So I know that this inspired connection that I speak of on my website and within my Love Inspired Leadership podcast is this one of a commitment and a decision, Because when you make a decision, everything changes, because you’re in alignment with that vision, that direction and that dream that you are working towards and moving forward to, and it opens up this power of possibility that’s miraculous, magical and meaningful, with purpose and commitment. So I think the world is changing, Todd, and I think we’re contributing to that.

Todd Bertsch: 26:53

Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, it’s a big responsibility, but I’m happy to play a small part, as you said, with your story with Emma. All it takes is one person, so I always have to go back to the mission. Yeah, I didn’t get any likes or any new followers, or I got some unsubscribes from my e-newsletter, but all it takes is one. I got one beautiful piece of feedback from you last week and it made my day. That’s all I needed. Somebody read the damn newsletter. Thank you, and Ashley found it insightful and maybe it inspired you. Maybe it inspired you to do tremendous change, or maybe just one small shift, or maybe it just made you smile, because you know, I love your newsletter.

Carolyn Cooper: 27:38

I think it’s filled with value. I think it’s incredibly intentional with your impact. I think that when people really dive into your newsletter as into the message and the meaning and the opportunity for them to transform their lives, they will, and I get your newsletter. It is a magnificent contribution and I think you’re making a meaningful difference in many people’s lives that you don’t even know about it, and for you to receive that appreciation. Didn’t that feel fabulous when I told you that?

Todd Bertsch: 28:20

Didn’t that feel fabulous when I told you that Absolutely, my love language is words of affirmation, so I take it anytime I can get it. I don’t love that. That’s my love language, but it is what it is, at least I know I did the work to at least understand what it is, and then I can tell my wife and tell others so they can feed me, and then I can tell my wife and tell others and so they can feed me. But let’s go today, tomorrow, to start leading more with this kind of heart-centered, this love-centered approach.

Carolyn Cooper: 29:13

Okay, well, I call it love-inspired leadership and, as you said earlier, it’s a journey. This does not happen overnight, and I created a system called the Aim High System. It’s 40 years put into six simple steps simple, simple. And where you start the beginning to open the door to opportunity, to live this purpose-driven business life is to tell yourself the truth. Truth is where you start what’s working, what isn’t working, what are you tolerating? And look way deep down into the mirror and look at the truth and own it without judgment, staying above the line, with curiosity and a commitment to make new decisions, to change and transform your position, to rise up to be the leader that you are meant to be. Rise up to be the leader that you are meant to be, because I know each of us have an internal voice of wisdom. It whispers to us, it is calling us forward and when we are bold enough, courageous enough and brave enough to look at the truth, that’s where we need to go. It’s simple, small, transitional decisions to change. I mean, it’s what you did, it’s what I’ve done. So truth is the first step. Second step is to trust yourself, to follow through with what you will say. You will do for you. So it’s to build your own confidence. See, when we don’t follow through with what we commit to, we lose our confidence, we slip below the line, we doubt and we’re in fear that we’re the leader that we are presenting ourselves to be. So I’m suggesting make a decision, follow through and be accountable to not only yourself, but someone else, someone that matters most to you. We don’t do this journey alone most to you. We don’t do this journey alone. When we do, it’s way too hard. So Emma changed my life. I’ve had many people in my life, in my dream team, who are like Emma, who remind me who I am, who I say okay in the next 90 days. This is the result, this is the goal, this is the vision that I’m working towards daily. I will have disciplined practice towards that, and then I do my check-ins and when I’m off the path, I get back on. So invite support.

Carolyn Cooper: 32:14

You know, my mom suffered, as I said, from schizophrenia and bipolar disease and the reason she suffered so much. She was my greatest teacher. She was my greatest motivation and inspiration in my thinking, in my self-awareness. She didn’t ask for support ever. She just went into the black hole, had three nervous breakdowns. I witnessed every one of them. I supported her through them. It was traumatic and dramatic and it was grace for me too, because my motivation is high and you know what Every one of us can trust ourselves.

Carolyn Cooper: 32:58

Third one is value. So once you see the truth, you start living your truth, being committed to your truth, following through with what you say you’re going to do, building that level of accountability. Then you get to see your value. This is the third step of the Aim High system that I take people through in my masterminds, as well as one-on-one executive coaching that I do. So the third one is value.

Carolyn Cooper: 33:27

What I see in the world in business, people don’t own their value. They don’t even know this extraordinary gifts, talents and expertise that they represent or stand for. If we don’t know, how is anybody else going to discover that? So I think that the next exploration and clarity is value. And then you get to design your beautiful, glorious vision and hold that space for grace consistently and then take intentional action daily, weekly, consistently, sustainably towards that vision. And I think you need to invest in yourself through support, like you, like me, like other people that you know can be your guides, because you’ve bought your own basic stories for quite some time and when you’re ready to become a love-inspired leader. It does mean change, but when you can receive that compassionate and empathetic guidance, it makes the world of difference.

Carolyn Cooper: 34:38

The fifth step you talked about it is presence, focused energy, being in the moment, releasing the past, old stories, and allowing the present moment to lead and guide and have faith in the future. Know that it’s only going to get better from here. And the last one is to celebrate and I am so passionate about this one the wins that we have. We need to not just celebrate within, we have to celebrate without. So all those people that are on your dream team, your family, your strategic alliances, who love you, you’ve to share with them your wins. And you got to do your happy soul dance with them and celebrate, because that’s going to nail in those narrow pathways to hold that vision even more, keep that confidence steady and expand your big dreams even beyond the vision that you’ve created. So that’s my six-step system. That’s the journey. It’s magnificent, it’s miraculous and it’s what I believe every entrepreneur needs to commit to that journey.

Todd Bertsch: 35:59

We’ll be right back after this short message. Hey, it’s Todd again. Did you know that mental fitness is the secret weapon for transformational leadership? Your mind may be sabotaging you, leading you down a path of stress and negativity, but it doesn’t have to be this way. If you’re ready to unlock the resilience to empower yourself and the team you lead, listen up. To unlock the resilience to empower yourself and the team you lead, listen up. Through the Positive Intelligence Program PQ for short I help leaders build mental strength, manage stress and boost emotional intelligence. Imagine reducing burnout, improving your relationships and increasing performance, all backed by neuroscience. I’m living proof of its power, having built my own mental fitness with PQ over the last five years, ready to build yours? Visit toddbirchcom or email me at tb at toddbirchcom for a. I’ve done it, I continue to do it. It works. It’s messy in the middle but it works and that’s okay.

Todd Bertsch: 37:18

And I did a talk it’s a Disrupt HR talk, which is a five-minute talk in Ann Arbor last month and it was about embracing discomfort and creating a growth-oriented culture. There was one slide that resonated Well, there was one that really stood out and it just simply said perfectionism kills progress. I had so much feedback on that one slide and people taking pictures of it posting on social. I’m like I need to dig in further. So, anyhow, I was writing about, I was writing the outline for that this morning and, yeah, if you’re a perfectionist you will not grow right. So not sure where I was going with that, but-.

Carolyn Cooper: 38:12

I do. I know where you’re going. I love this. I love this so much. So we either choose to be a perfectionist and control everything. I mean, this has been all my journaling and part of the 21 Day Aim High series that I’m going to share with you is that the key to our success is releasing control. The dichotomy is this well, if I release control, oh gosh, am I going to have havoc, is it going to be chaos? No, the opposite is true. The truth is we get to define what matters most when we let go to lead, when we release the control of it being perfect. So it’s going from progression and control to presence and acceptance. Right, so it’s.

Carolyn Cooper: 39:17

You know what I find about life the most fascinating thing. I mean, I wake up every day and I just say, you know, thank you, god for another glorious day of opportunity to learn, to lead, to live this way, is this fascination of learning. I mean, aren’t you just completely fascinated by you? Know, I get phrases that come to me, those are those whispers of internal wisdom, and then I have to journal about it when I get up because, oh, I got to expand this, I got to dive into this, and then more comes. I mean so this idea of perfectionism and releasing that is freedom too, todd.

Todd Bertsch: 40:01

It is. You say I have a couple of. Well, I have several comments that I wrote down as notes from our first talk, but you talk about surrender. That’s the word that resonated with me. You need to surrender, and one of the things that happens, carolyn, as we focus on perfection, is we lose our curiosity.

Todd Bertsch: 40:23

I talk a lot about curiosity. I do believe that that is the key, and I’m reading several books on curiosity and digging into some research, and one of the things that I learned there’s a couple different levels of curiosity, and I believe what you were talking about is epistemic. I believe that’s how you pronounce it Epistemic curiosity, where it’s the deep dive. It’s not just the novelty right piece because we see something new we want to go after. We’re curious what the heck is it? No, this is about being deeply curious and wanting to dive into that subject matter. Curious and wanting to dive into that subject matter. So, anyhow, yeah, curiosity, love. You know, there’s so many gratitude, there’s so many different ways, and what I find funny is that all of this is so simple and it’s free. A lot of it is free. You can do it on your own, but you just need to commit, you just need to start.

Carolyn Cooper: 41:30

That’s it One.

Todd Bertsch: 41:32

thing and decide and commit and have that conviction, like you said. So I just talk about and I coach just 1% better every day. You know that’s’s it, because you’re going to start to get that compounding effect. Next thing, you know you’re a machine, and a machine in a good way. You’re just, you’re running on all cylinders and you get into the flow and you’re happy and fulfilled and you know doing the work that you love, and there’s nothing more beautiful than that, because then it’s not work, it is your purpose yeah, and you’re living it, you’re living.

Carolyn Cooper: 42:10

You’re living it so, and you have the opportunity to be curious, to have wonder and creativity and innovation and have fun. So people think entrepreneurship is heavy and serious and hard. It’s not. Not when you’re in your lane of joy. It’s not, it’s the opposite. So so that’s okay, go ahead.

Todd Bertsch: 42:38

I was gonna say how do you so? How do you stay checked? That’s, that’s one of the things that like for me. You know I’m 16 years in business. I had that going into it again, the passion to create this. I found a gap. I filled it. Then things change. You start to scale and people and processes, and HR and financials. And now, yes, I’m learning and I’m curious, but I’m not happy I’m doing all these things Not fun anymore.

Carolyn Cooper: 43:06

I feel like I’m not right.

Todd Bertsch: 43:09

So what’s your advice with all these businesses that you help? What do you tell them? Is there a checkpoint and accountability? Well, here’s one thing I will say. Going back, I felt like I was on an island Tom Hanks on an island, with the volleyball, all by myself Pulling his teeth out.

Todd Bertsch: 43:30

Yeah, but I was afraid. I was in a fixed mindset. I was afraid to ask for help. I was afraid to ask. I was in a fixed mindset. I was afraid to ask for help. I was afraid to get feedback right. All I was doing was managing my own fear.

Carolyn Cooper: 43:44

So I couldn’t get off the internet.

Todd Bertsch: 43:45

Well, that’s your evidence Okay.

Carolyn Cooper: 43:48

That’s your evidence right there. And you know the truth is I love this phrase and it’s not only just true in life, it’s true in business. There’s a reason, there’s a season and sometimes there’s a lifetime, and I’ve had many business partnerships over the last 40 years. I’ve had many businesses too, and I know that when it is fueling me, feeding me, inspiring me creatively, purposely and passionately, that’s my lane of joy. But what happens is things get successful or they fall apart. It’s one or two positions right and I have a decision to make.

Carolyn Cooper: 44:42

I mean, I started a incredible global networking community when COVID hit. We had 23 countries. I hosted 150, 175 people on Zoom at a time. Every week we had numbers of events. We had 6,500 people come through our events and I got to a place. This position I’m in now, my Love Inspired Leadership podcast and a number of other trainings I’m doing and speaking kept calling me. This voice inside of me said Carolyn, you got to let that go. I know it’s good. I know you love the people, because I did. I know you’re making a meaningful difference because I was. I know you learned how to connect with 150 people on Zoom and that was a journey of surrender. Let me tell you I’d always done live events.

Todd Bertsch: 45:41

Right, I can imagine.

Carolyn Cooper: 45:43

And I knew I needed to transition. I knew I needed to make a decision with respect, honor, compassion and love, and that’s how I transitioned from that partnership. So we still care for each other. We still have a great friendship. She’s leading that organization and I stepped away. It was clean, it was beautiful, it was respectful. Yet, you know, it’s having this willingness to live your own truth, because unless we can do that, we suffer. I knew I had to let it go. I knew this other part was calling me and now I have the opportunity of living this and it may change too. I mean, it’s this willingness to let go, to lead.

Todd Bertsch: 46:35

Yeah, willingness to let go to lead, yeah, willingness to let go to surrender. But I also feel like and you said something early on that I wanted to come back to and it’s the beginning, but it’s also the reflection so there needs to be a process. I spent a good amount of time at the end of last year to create what I’m calling the Spark Life Audit Toolkit. It taps into every pillar, it asks some interesting questions in each pillar in life and then you rate right. So your health, fitness, love, relationships, faith, habits, career you know all these different things and you score it. So, unless you take the time to reflect, you don’t know where you’re at. And maybe journaling is one form of that. Right, this is a little bit more structured, almost like a strengths finder test. Here’s your results. Oh shit, my scores are low. You are low, but I do it with my wife, so we both do it and we have this kind of comparison like oh, I thought our scores would be higher as a relationship pillar, we’ve got some things let’s talk through, but you have to be willing to do that reflection.

Todd Bertsch: 47:52

And the funny thing is I look at the results of my social, social posts, email and clicks on that link to that audit tool, and I’ve only had a few people actually do it, and what I realize is it’s so scary to flip the rock up and see what’s underneath it, or to look in the mirror. There’s so much fear of what you’re going to find. So how do we get over that? Right, there’s so many people, like you said, we’re all beautiful, unique, we have everything we need, but we have this plaster facade that covers us and we just need to chip away. But what is it? What is it that we can do to entice people?

Todd Bertsch: 48:36

And maybe it’s just this, it’s the messages, it’s the keynotes to go out and spread. And what do they say? The teacher will arrive when the student is ready, but I want to get more students ready. That’s the piece. So that’s the piece where I’m at and I love reason, season, lifetime, and I do believe there’s a piece that I’m focusing on in the book about seasons, because I think I talked about the curiosity continuum, fixed and growth, mindset, the line, and there is. If you look at, I would guess and I’m going to collect this data but if you look at 50 to 100 people, you probably see a similar trend and it’s the season from child to adult, and so anyhow went off on some paths there, but-.

Carolyn Cooper: 49:30

Well, it’s fine, it’s fine. So this is the big question how do we overcome fear? I mean, how do we do it? What can I do that’s actually going to motivate me to make a decision, to change. What is it? That’s the big question. So I will tell you my answer.

Todd Bertsch: 49:51

Okay, and I have an answer. Well, I have some hypotheses.

Carolyn Cooper: 49:56

How we overcome fear is this we need a reason. I love Simon Sinek, his power of why, why I am an extremely greedy person. I love having vitality. At almost 67 years old, I love my life and I know that my reason for doing everything is energy. I honor my body, I honor my mind and I honor what my internal calling is asking of me to do. I follow through.

Carolyn Cooper: 50:44

So you need I’m speaking to your audience right now you need to find your reason and it needs to be so meaningful that you’re going to get over yourself and smarten up and make that final decision to just change things. And it’s not a big leap like you think it’s going to be, and it’s small, little incremental steps. I didn’t do yoga for 30 years and every day I do yoga now and I love it. I meditate after with my forehead on the ground and just cry out of gratitude for the present moment. So you know.

Carolyn Cooper: 51:32

So, whatever you’re resisting, get to it, because that’s your opportunity, that’s the miracles, that’s the magic, that’s what you’re supposed to lean into to take intentional action and just take little steps and also report it to someone else so they can kick your butt if you need it. I have one dream team member that when I go off the path, even for an hour, I’ll tell you, todd, I report in and say, thinking below the line, here, help need a lifeline. Where am I off track here? And I can speak to her in two minutes and she’ll say boom, boom, boom, boom. I say thank you and I’m back up. So you need a support system too yes, oh sorry, my, I’m just.

Todd Bertsch: 52:29

I wish I could take notes while I, while I do these episodes, because there’s so much, I’m going to go back thinking below and above the line. Uh, that’s a book title right there, but anyhow.

Todd Bertsch: 52:40

It is, and I agree with everything that you said oh, okay, gotcha, yeah, go on and on about fear. I think I talk about it in every episode. But fear is, you know, it’s it’s sabotage based. It’s a big part of positive intelligence and building your mental muscle is how you can overcome fear. You say you asked a question why, what is? We all need a reason, and most people it’s a traumatic event, which is what my reason was. I got the shit kicked out of me, you know, when I was doing drugs and I said I can’t do this anymore. You know that was my reason. And some people it’s even more traumatic. You know it’s a death or whatever, we don’t want that right.

Todd Bertsch: 53:31

We don’t want that People to have to go through that.

Carolyn Cooper: 53:32

So there are other reasons we don’t want that. No, no, no, no, no no.

Todd Bertsch: 53:33

People to have to go through that. So there are other reasons. So I think and I’m still discovering what those reasons can be for different people, and it is a season in life, but I feel, like those that are parents, an easy one is your kids, your spouse, like that right, because what we’ll do is we will give everything to and for our kids and there’s nothing wrong with that. But what suffers is our own self.

Carolyn Cooper: 54:07

Right.

Todd Bertsch: 54:07

It is Right. So if that is what drives you, then maybe that’s your reason Exactly Right. If that is what drives you, then maybe that’s your reason Exactly Right, because if you can live happy, joyful, purposeful life, you are going to live longer and be around longer for your kids.

Carolyn Cooper: 54:30

And healthier mentally, physically, spiritually.

Todd Bertsch: 54:34

Less stress less anxiety. These all lead to living a longer life. Do you want to see your kids get married? Do you want to see and hold your grandkids? Those could be the reasons right there. That’s all you need. So make one shift. Start a gratitude practice, start a meditation practice, start yoga, take the cooking class, write the book, go for a walk, take the vacation that you’ve always wanted to take and jump out of an airplane. What are you waiting for? Don’t let fear hold you back.

Carolyn Cooper: 55:13

And the way I look at fear. I mean this is as dramatic it is for me, because my reason was seeing the suffering my mom went through. Even when I was 10 years old, I thought I’m figuring this out, I am not going to go through. And then, when I was 14, then I was 17, then I reached out to Emma when I was 18. I mean changed my life. But here’s the truth Even if you’re in a relationship or have family members that are deeply suffering, it’s up to you to channel and make the decision for your own life, because you can, and my motivation was to not experience that depth of suffering.

Todd Bertsch: 56:00

Right.

Carolyn Cooper: 56:01

So and that’s the truth for me, and it’s continued to be and the discoveries that you have the opportunity of making down this path. It’s all about love, though. When you were talking about your kids, that’s love. You’re talking about your relationship, that’s love. Though when you’re talking about your kids, that’s love. You’re talking about your relationship, that’s love too. You’re talking about honoring yourself that’s love, too. So when we can decide to tap our toe into the pool of honoring and loving ourselves first, that’s where you start. Make decisions that bring joy to your life. I mean, I’m having way more fun in my life right now than I have in decades because I decided to and I set it up.

Todd Bertsch: 56:49

I love that visual. You just put a visual in my head of dipping one toe in the water Just one toe, and that’s what we talk about, with small shifts. So, anyhow, carolyn, we can go on. We’re coming to the end here. You and I can go on for hours and my hope is that we will continue this conversation and many more conversations and I would imagine, some collaborations, because we just connect on all levels. The energy is high and it’s important, the messages are important. So, listeners, I hope you loved this episode. I know I loved this conversation. There’s so much here. These are simple things, but you just need to take some action. So, carolyn, you have so many what do you call them? Not catchphrases, but a phrase that pays, phrase that pays. So leave us with one phrase that pays.

Carolyn Cooper: 57:56

Simplify to secure success.

Todd Bertsch: 58:00

Simplify to secure success.

Carolyn Cooper: 58:04

That’s the way you think, that’s the decisions you make, that’s choosing your next steps, steps that has reflections of your willingness to let go, to release the resistance, to align yourself with what matters most, and to me it’s love. I invite you to do the same.

Todd Bertsch: 58:33

Excellent. Thank you, Carolyn, for your time today, for your wisdom, for your devotion and commitment to your craft. Yeah, thank you.

Carolyn Cooper: 58:49

Let’s continue our conversation is I will provide for everybody here my 21-day above the line transformational email series, which is my gift to you, which is an audio of less than three minutes every day that will land in your email box and some incredibly sacred opportunities for meditative reflection and journal prompts will be supplied to you too, and it’s beautiful. What I hold is it will support you to transform, to bring love back to life, personally and professionally.

Todd Bertsch: 59:31

Love it Great. We’ll include that in the show notes and then we’ll also include that in our e-newsletter. That’s every Monday. So if you haven’t signed up for e-newsletter, please do. You don’t want to miss out on this. So thank you, carolyn. Again, it’s been a true pleasure.

Todd Bertsch: 59:46

Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Bold Podcast. I appreciate you spending some time with us today and it’s been a pleasure being part of your journey toward growth, transformation and leadership. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please like, share and leave a review. It truly helps us reach more people like you, interested in taking your leadership to the next level. Visit toddbertsch. com to learn more about my keynote speaking, corporate training programs and my positive intelligence coaching. Look, I’m here to help you build the mental resilience and leadership skills that drive lasting change. And remember progress comes from small, consistent steps. Keep moving forward, my friends.

Todd Bertsch: 1:00:31

And before we wrap, a quick reminder the information shared on the Bolt Podcast, along with anything from ToddBertsch. com or my social media channels, is for informational and educational purposes only. We all need support and if you’re seeking meaningful guidance, one of the best things you can do is talk to a licensed professional, whether that’s a physician, therapist or coach. They can provide the support and care you deserve. Physician, therapist or coach, they can provide the support and care you deserve. The content on this podcast is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you’re facing a medical emergency or need immediate assistance, please reach out to the appropriate healthcare provider or emergency services. Hey guys, take care of yourself, stay kind to your mind and remember help is always available when you need it. Thank you for being here. I appreciate you and we’ll see you next time.