Episode 39 – From Curiosity to Connection: Mastering the Art of Influence with Molly Ketcham

Todd Bertsch: 0:05

Welcome to the Bolt Podcast. I’m Todd Bertsch, keynote speaker, entrepreneur and mental fitness coach. I’m here to help you unlock your leadership potential and ignite your personal growth. On the Bolt, my guests and I will dive into inspiring stories of transformation, showing how small shifts in mindset can lead to life-changing benefits. We’ll explore strategies for overcoming challenges, building high-performance habits and leading with confidence. If you’re ready to embrace a growth mindset and unlock your full potential, then let’s ignite your spark today.

Todd Bertsch: 0:43

Today, we are joined by Molly Ketcham, a dynamic leader and expert in building influence to drive results. With two decades of experience in the meetings and events industry, Molly has successfully led teams, negotiated multi-million dollar contracts and contributed to company growth. She has discovered that true success hinges on the ability to connect with others. As a keynote speaker and mastermind facilitator, molly empowers audiences to use curiosity as a tool to spark inspiration, build trust and foster meaningful connections. She’s a distinguished Toastmaster, a member of the National Speakers Association and the president of NSA Ohio. Molly is on a mission to help individuals and organizations lead with curiosity and make a lasting impact. I’m excited to dive into our conversation today about leadership, influence and the power of curiosity, Molly. Welcome to the Bolt Podcast, my friend.

Molly Ketcham: 1:50

Thank you for having me.

Todd Bertsch: 1:51

It’s so good to have you, so good to see you. You too, we are going to take that one word today curiosity, and just dive in. That is what you’ve kind of built your speaking coaching program on. And it’s one of my favorite words.

Molly Ketcham: 2:09

I know we really connect about over that, don’t we Really connect?

Todd Bertsch: 2:13

We’re gonna we’re just gonna go and listeners. I hope you enjoy this conversation because there’s going to be a lot of great takeaways today, so just be curious have an open mind right and take lots of notes. So, Molly, so BS and graph design, which we talked about a little bit, I’m like oh, you’re a graph designer, that’s cool.

Todd Bertsch: 2:34

And then you pivoted, so you spent a lot of time in the corporate world and got some great experience. And then you said, you know what I want to be a speaker and got some great experience and then you said you know what I want to be a speaker, so just quickly tell us how did that pivot happen and why did you want to change and be a speaker?

Molly Ketcham: 2:57

I think we all get some experience under our belts and then start to wonder. Not all then start to wonder. Not all many of us have that moment of am I really doing what I want to be doing? Maybe what I was meant to do, and that was the case for me.

Molly Ketcham: 3:14

I turned 40, it was around my 40th birthday and I had the thought. You know, I got about half my career behind me and half ahead of me, and what was behind me was a great experience in the meetings and events industry. I was a sourcing manager. I booked corporate business in properties, the guest rooms, the meeting space, and I learned a lot. I also learned a lot about relationships, and it was the relating part, the interpersonal communication, that I really found fascinating, and I was learning that there are some people in this world that I was like why are they so much more successful? What is it? What do they have? They seem to be charismatic. Was that it? They were confident, was that it? I wasn’t quite sure, but it was intriguing to me, and it was around my 40th birthday. I thought I feel like I need to do something that was more personal, that felt more purposeful for me.

Molly Ketcham: 4:13

So I went on a little journey of what could that be, and I was reflecting on a time in my 20s when I was part of a network marketing company and we’d go to these annual conferences, huge conventions with thousands of people and amazing speakers on the stage. They gave me hope, they gave me ideas, they helped me believe that I could be more and do more than I thought that I could be. So that was my first introduction to personal development and it was huge. It made a huge shift. Anyone who’s gone through that and experienced like that remembers when it started to happen for them, because the world opens up and everything becomes so much more possible.

Molly Ketcham: 5:01

That happened for me in my 20s and when I was reflecting on that I thought you know, I want to be that person who helped me when I needed it, who gave me those ideas and that hope. So that’s when the dream of being a speaker was born. And for me, the first thing because I was aware of Toastmasters. The first thing I did was seek out a Toastmasters club and it was great experience. If ever anyone is interested in developing their public speaking skills, I highly recommend Toastmasters for that.

Molly Ketcham: 5:37

It helped me become comfortable speaking in front of a group of people and then someone in that group told me about the National Speakers Association, which was beautiful. It was the next step in the evolution and I visited NSA Ohio, since we’re here in Cleveland, and I went through their program of how to learn the business. So Toastmasters taught me the art of speaking and helped me understand what filler words I was putting in there and what funny things I was doing in front of the audience, Helped me become aware of that so that I could make those adjustments. And then NSA Ohio taught me the business of becoming a professional speaker and when 2020 rolled around and as a sourcing manager, I was no longer needed when no one was traveling anymore with the pandemic and I lost my job, I just took it as a sign. They say that’s the hardest part is taking that step into a new career, and I was just. It was decided for me. So I said thank you to the universe and it started on my way.

Todd Bertsch: 6:51

Wow, that’s awesome. I love how you said helping others. I think a lot of people don’t see a keynote speaker or a speaker in general that’s out there speaking to audiences, that they’re really there to help. But, as you I’m sure will attest to, the seasoned speakers will always say it’s about the audience, it’s not about you, and that’s something that I’ve written down and reflect on quite frequently when I’m, before I speak, just remind myself it’s not about me, it’s about the audience and helping them or inspiring them or motivating them.

Molly Ketcham: 7:38

And that’s something that we can be told early on in our endeavor to be a speaker or to stand in front of a group. Even if you’re at work presenting and you think, well, this is information for the group to know. It’s difficult to get out of our head because we are so worried about it. But once you become comfortable like just you do it enough times I think it is even easier to remind yourself. It is all about the audience and helping them.

Todd Bertsch: 8:08

Absolutely. Let’s talk about Toastmasters for just a minute, because we have a lot of professional people leaders, business owners who listen to the show and I think you don’t have to be a keynote speaker to join Toastmasters, like you said. Be a keynote speaker to join Toastmasters, like you said. Just public speaking in general, and that is one of the biggest fears of any fear in the professional world speaking public speaking to your team, your leadership team or to a prospect. You know if you’re on a sales pitch.

Molly Ketcham: 8:41

Exactly.

Todd Bertsch: 8:41

So that could be a great way for somebody to get some experience. And it’s free right, it’s not free, but it’s very affordable and the organization.

Molly Ketcham: 8:52

All you have to do is go to and I’m going to say this because I’ve said it to so many others who’ve been interested toastmastersorg and on the main homepage you can find a club near you. You put your zip code in and there’s options so you get to see what is out there, the possibilities. Some meet in a community center, some meet in a business organization. Some of the businesses will open up to the community so they have people from that company and from the community who can meet in that Toastmasters club. I preferred that setting because I was used to the corporate environment, so that’s the type of club that I joined.

Molly Ketcham: 9:33

But there’s a lot of options out there and, yes, it’s usually an hour you start out with small speaking parts that you can sign up for, so you have control over your role that you’re going up for. So you have, you know, control over your role that you’re going to play in the meeting that day. There’s opportunities to rehearse what you say. There’s opportunities to speak off the cuff. So you’re hitting all the different avenues, the areas that you might need to improve on in your your get comfortable with speaking.

Todd Bertsch: 10:03

Cool, it sounds like a great avenue just to get some experience. Um, I wish I I didn’t know about it, I so I skipped. I skipped that step and went right to nsa ohio, which is probably par for the course for me.

Molly Ketcham: 10:16

Let’s just you get some. You get some craft and delivery and platform skills in nsa as well. So yeah, that’s good.

Todd Bertsch: 10:24

But it’s all about getting the reps.

Molly Ketcham: 10:25

It is Just like anything.

Todd Bertsch: 10:28

And it’s interesting I don’t know if you’ll say the same it seems like even the most seasoned speakers still say they get nervous when they go out. Even a Tony Robbins, you know, speaking in front of 10,000 people still gets those jitters.

Molly Ketcham: 10:46

Yes, but what is the cause of it? Because it could shift right. Maybe in the beginning it is you’re nervous because you’re in your own, you’re in your head and it is all about you and are you going to say the right thing and and look good on stage and you know, not mess up and whatever. But then as you evolve, does the nerves turn into an excitement for the opportunity to share the message. Or am I going to reach as many people as I can? Am I on my A game so that I can share as much as I can and really connect with that audience? So I yes, I have heard that as well and I think it might just evolve a little as we develop, so do you still get yes?

Molly Ketcham: 11:36

I do, and it is for me now it’s a little bit of both I still, if it’s a new opportunity, something I’ve never done before which I love, I just love to try new things. So I think, I’ll always be a little bit of that built in because, the first time you do something and the unknown is fear is yes exactly, um, but some of it is like excitement for I get to do this again, because this is what I love doing.

Todd Bertsch: 12:04

Yeah, absolutely. It’s getting out of your comfort zone, experiencing a little discomfort which is all fear-based and that is really getting out of a fixed mindset into a growth, an open mindset, which I’m sure we’re going to dig into today. But yeah, it is interesting. I still get the jitters and try to embrace that. And one of the things when I watch or listen to a speaker now I’m really kind of watching them, not focused on the message as much in terms of their craft and delivery, and I feel like everybody messes up.

Todd Bertsch: 12:42

at least once. You may not mess up in terms of just a word, right? Or something I don’t think anybody’s 100% perfect and I think we just need to know that there’s going to be a blip or two. But nobody’s going to remember that and nobody probably knows, except you a lot of the time. So at least that’s what I tell myself, right To get rid of some of the fear it’s like yes. I’m just going to go up there and and riff, and the more practice, the more comfortable you feel about the topic.

Molly Ketcham: 13:15

Obviously, the easier it’s going to be, so yeah, that’s so true, and when you know how to just be your authentic self and you’re going to have those moments where you trip over a word or you don’t say something the right way, the way you rehearsed it yeah and that could be a just another opportunity to connect with the audience, because there’s authenticity, it’s authenticity I was on a stage once and there were sirens on, you could hear outside the and they kept going. They didn’t stop, Like it wasn’t just an ambulance driving by.

Molly Ketcham: 13:52

It was and eventually and I was talking, I was in the middle of my presentation Eventually I stopped and I said I hope everything is okay out there. And they and someone shouted oh, there’s a parade. I mean, like we just just were. Now we’re having this you know conversation, but it was a connection with the audience and, and had I not done it, it might have even looked like more awkward yeah, if I hadn’t addressed it read the room, right, yeah so just being yourself and letting it unfold the way that it, having had all the practice in the rehearsing and knowing your message and all of it.

Molly Ketcham: 14:29

But then just be yourself.

Todd Bertsch: 14:31

Yeah, yeah. That practice gives you the space right To be able to to go off script a little bit and come back and feel comfortable doing that. Exactly, and I think those are the presentations that have the most impact right.

Todd Bertsch: 14:46

Because you’re building a connection right. So now you get into speaking and you just embrace curiosity. This is your baby, this is your mantra, this is what you take to speaking engagements, to corporations, corporate training. So tell us a little bit about what brought you into that particular topic and then let’s just go into curiosity. That’s what we’re here for today.

Molly Ketcham: 15:15

Okay, as I was exploring the topic that I wanted to speak on, because I believe there are two types of speakers who come into the world of professional speaking.

Molly Ketcham: 15:28

One is the person who has a message, a burning desire to share, and it usually comes from something that happened to them, a trauma or something they’ve made it through and it made an impact. They need to share it with the world. I think the other type of speaker who comes in is like me. I wanted to share a message. I wanted to help people, but I didn’t know in what capacity. So I had to discover the intersection between what I was skilled in and what I was passionate about. So it took a little bit of exploration and that took some curiosity. So I went down that path and I worked with a coach who helped me. Sometimes you need that outside perspective.

Todd Bertsch: 16:19

Absolutely Right, absolutely, and she helped me really hone in on that.

Molly Ketcham: 16:21

You know, she asked those questions that I could say yes, and she helped me really hone in on that. She asked those questions that I could say yes, and when I started to get excited then I knew that that was my thing and it really is developing these, building these connections. It’s what I observed in the corporate workplace that people who are really great at relating to lifting others up, influencing, making a difference in the workplace, those were the successful people and I found that fascinating. So I started studying that and I learned that curiosity was part of it, in addition to some other aspects, and I do talk about all of it. But then I really honed in on curiosity when I realized that I myself ask a lot of questions. And I started to talk to people around me like, yeah, you ask a lot of questions, it’s because you want to know, you have a desire to know. It wasn’t a bad thing. But they’re like, yes, you ask more questions than the average person Because you just want to have an understanding and that’s that’s true. I discovered that I use the curiosity in the relationship part and that is a big aspect of building the relationship. And then I discovered, well, curiosity building the relationship. And then I discovered well, curiosity and getting to know someone also helps you develop influence.

Molly Ketcham: 17:48

So when you are asking questions and I feel like there’s different levels of curiosity when it comes to developing a connection I think that at the surface level, or at the first level, there’s information you know, you want to know about the person when did they grow up, what did they do for a living? You know the story, the information. And then, maybe a little deeper level, is the relational curiosity. It’s why do you do what you do and how do you work best? What are the things that are most important to you in life?

Molly Ketcham: 18:25

So, speaking in terms of values and motivations, beliefs and dreams, when you discover a person’s you know, passion, projects now we’re talking in it on a deeper level and you have an opportunity to connect on that level. You can connect information. Maybe you both went to the same high school or you know someone from this organization that you used to work in, so you can connect that way. But you can also connect on a deeper level and then lately I’m getting into an even deeper level, which is the emotional or energetic aspect of it, which I still believe uses curiosity. So curiosity on different levels helps you connect and relate to people on that different level. And when you know, when you’re able to build the connection, the deeper that you can go, the more influence and impact that you can have. Because when you understand how a person operates and what is most important to them in life, you can work with, you can meet them where they are.

Molly Ketcham: 19:29

There’s no more guessing about how to lead them into the direction you want them to go, because now you know, you’ve, you’ve discovered that by using curiosity, and, and you have that, that influence. So that is the those are. That is my, has been my trajectory of, uh, and I’ve spoken on all the different levels, I think, as the more I dive into it, the deeper I go that’s just fascinating to me.

Todd Bertsch: 19:58

Yeah, I absolutely love it. And I think you know, like for managers, I just saw a Gallup poll yesterday 70% of managers are not engaged.

Molly Ketcham: 20:11

I don’t know if you’ve seen the Gallup.

Todd Bertsch: 20:12

Gallup’s been all about engagement recently. So the last poll a few weeks ago was 79% of employees globally are disengaged. Oh, and then yesterday came out 70% of managers disengaged. So they’re tying this correlation of managers to employees. So if your managers are not engaged, right that trickle down. Then your employees likely will not be engaged. So how do we get here?

Todd Bertsch: 20:41

engaged. So how do we get, how did we get here? Right, but how do we get out of here? I mean, that’s, those numbers are ridiculous and I believe a lot of it is the mindset. So if you can be curious, right, and you can ask the questions what if? Or just be curious about people in general, your direct reports, then you’re going to give them time and most employees just want time, time to talk, time for you to listen, right, and we move so quickly. Our schedules are so packed, meeting after meeting after meeting, no buffer, and we’re just running like chickens with our heads cut off and we don’t give ourself for one time. That’s a whole different story right, Self-care, but to give that time because we want to know our people, and the more you learn about your people, the more you ask questions and give the time. Then you start to build trust. And when you build trust, then you got it, you have the gold right and then you can start building a true connection.

Todd Bertsch: 21:58

And when you have that connection, I believe, then people are engaged because, you know them. You’ve opened up this bridge that wasn’t there before. Right, so it’s not waiting till end of year annual review. And you’re like, what the hell? You’re not engaged. You don’t like this work, you don’t like this project, you don’t like working with these people. I’m just learning about this now. That’s a mistake right so we talk a lot about just how powerful the one-to-one is but, going into that one-to-one with genuine curiosity.

Molly Ketcham: 22:32

Yeah, you’re right about the one-on-one meetings. How often do we just have a little small talk and then you just get down to business, right? But if you can take the time and it doesn’t need to be a lot of time, I don’t think. In fact, in my opinion, I think you can take the same amount of time that you are currently taking in your small talk and just shift that from transactional to relational. If you can speak to, using your curiosity to learn about that person and what motivates them, what they really care about in their work, then you help direct them in that way. So, yes, you build trust by listening and then acting on what you’ve learned from them, right, taking little actions, making suggestions, asking oh, I didn’t consider that you might be interested in this project, but now you’ve asked the questions to learn what they’re really truly interested in.

Todd Bertsch: 23:35

We’ll be right back after this short message. Hey, it’s Todd again. Did you know that mental fitness is the secret weapon for transformational leadership? Your mind may be sabotaging you, leading you down a path of stress and negativity, but it doesn’t have to be this way. If you’re ready to unlock the resilience to empower yourself and the team you lead, listen up. Through the Positive Intelligence Program PQ for short I help leaders build mental strength, manage stress and boost emotional intelligence. Imagine reducing burnout, improving your relationships and increasing performance, all backed by neuroscience. I’m living proof of its power, having built my own mental fitness with PQ over the last five years, ready to build yours? Visit ToddBirchcom or email me at TB at ToddBirchcom for a free consultation.

Todd Bertsch: 24:32

Now let’s get back to the show. So what I’m really interested in Molly, in the whole curiosity piece and we talked about it a little bit is so we have two, two different camps. Right, we have a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, and this is Carol Dweck’s work, based from Stanford. It’s groundbreaking work. So this is a me in her book mindset and this, these research that she’s done over the years, has been used and referenced in many publications and books. It’s great stuff and it’s awesome. So we know we have people that are in a fix and people in a growth. People in a fixed mindset refuse feedback. They are in Groundhog Day, they don’t seek out challenges, they don’t do anything new, they just kind of run on autopilot right.

Todd Bertsch: 25:27

No curiosity, but when you get curious, when you are curious, then you’re in a growth or open mindset where you start to see challenges as opportunities. You want feedback, you embrace feedback and you never give up. You keep fighting and, as you’ve said, you want to do things that are out of your comfort zone. You push yourself to the edge because that’s where real growth happens. So what I’m really interested in is how do we get somebody who’s in a fixed mindset to be to move into, to shift into a growth mindset? And what I believe and what my research and my talks are based on and what I’m starting to really dig into is curiosity. Really dig into is curiosity. I believe that everybody had curiosity at some point and I don’t think I believe like it’s a fact right, we all had curiosity at one point. So imagine going back to five, seven years old.

Todd Bertsch: 26:35

We had it walking on the playground, lifting up rocks, seeing what’s underneath? Right, we had no predetermined thoughts, we didn’t care what other people thought, we didn’t worry about failing, we just did. We were explorers, right, we were open to all the possibilities that life had for us. And then at some point, as we start growing up even before adulting right, the educational system starts to put us into a box, and that’s a whole other topic and people are diving into that. But that’s where we start to lose our curiosity. And then, once we get into adults, a lot of people lose it.

Todd Bertsch: 27:17

We get into our job, we start a family and we just get into Groundhog Day, in my opinion, because we’re just churning. It’s the same old, same old, the same commute. You get home, you take out the trash. What’s for dinner, honey? We watch Jeopardy and we go to bed or read for a little bit.

Todd Bertsch: 27:36

You know what I’m just, but so you can see here. So we go through these cycles in life where we have it and we don’t, and then some people never get it back. So my thoughts and what I’m speaking on and digging into is that if we could ignite that curiosity spark again, we can start to get people at least open to the idea of asking questions what if? And then potentially into a growth mindset. Because the people you talked about, the one percenters, the people that are successful, that are living meaningful, impactful lives, those people are in a growth mindset. They’re not stuck right, they continue to seek out discomfort, they continue to go to the edge, they’re lifelong learners.

Molly Ketcham: 28:30

Yes, I agree, and I’m curious did you shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset? Did you have a transition?

Todd Bertsch: 28:40

I did what was the moment for you. So great softball. You just threw me.

Molly Ketcham: 28:49

Oh great.

Todd Bertsch: 28:49

So what I’m so starting to research and try to figure out again is that piece of how do we? Why are people in a growth mindset? And then how do we get people out of a fixed, and one of the things that I believe is that most of the times, unfortunately, it takes an incident, it takes some dramatic change in your life and most of the time it is not good. It’s traumatic right A car accident, a family member dies of cancer, or you get a bad report card from your doctor right.

Todd Bertsch: 29:32

All these things that happen to you or somebody very close, where you can see it, you’re like, hmm, that could happen to me, that was too close to home, maybe it’s time to make a change. Right, and that’s what happened to me. So when I was in my 20s, I was doing drugs, drinking, and I was on that path and I was living with a couple of guys and they beat me to a pulp one night. I mean, literally beat me to. It was everything I could do to escape this house and at that moment I was like I can’t do this anymore. I want more Right. But it took that moment and I’m glad that happened. I’m glad it happened because I don’t know if I would be here today if that hadn’t happened.

Todd Bertsch: 30:22

But I needed that, was a traumatic experience that I needed, and a lot of times that’s what people need is for something to trigger that. Obviously we don’t want that right. We don’t want that right. So how? So what I’m trying to figure out is how can we I don’t know simulate that or some way get people to think about it?

Todd Bertsch: 31:52

Because the one thing about fixed that I don’t like is that I don’t believe we’re fixed. Those that are fixed I don’t believe are fixed. They’re just stuck Because we had curiosity at one point. We just need to get it back. So if people can relate and think about okay, I can get out of this, I wasn’t here before.

Molly Ketcham: 32:17

Here’s my question Do you think there are various levels, varying levels of the growth mindset?

Todd Bertsch: 32:23

That’s a great question. Research says yes.

Molly Ketcham: 32:26

Okay.

Todd Bertsch: 32:27

Research says there’s various levels and I also believe there’s seasons in life. Oh. So when you start a family, you get I think you get out of a growth mindset Most people do, because you’re just in and you’re just trying to make it through the day, right, you don’t have the time or capacity. Remember when you started your family.

Todd Bertsch: 32:48

I know for me like there’s no way. I just wanted to to make it through. I didn’t have the time or capacity to try to learn something new or go to the edge. I wanted some Groundhog Day right, some simple things, because the growth was happening with the child and just dealing.

Molly Ketcham: 33:07

I see what you’re saying. However, I still had a growth mindset. I just couldn’t. I didn’t have the capacity, the time to do much with it. So I think that the one percenters that you refer to are those in that half of the population with the growth mindset who do something about it. But you can still believe in the possibility of change, right? Isn’t a growth mindset being open to the idea that you can improve, that things can get better, that you can develop and the possibilities are there? Right Versus the fixed is? This is just the way that it is. This is the way life is.

Todd Bertsch: 33:54

Yes, I believe there’s a continuum right. So there are different stages. So you’re fixed, you don’t believe, open and then grow right, the different, various degrees of growth, someone who’s just a growth junkie or somebody who’s at least open to the idea of it. I think is where you’re going. So yeah, I do believe.

Molly Ketcham: 34:15

You know, in terms of like going back to the experience of your story, a research around the cause, the catalyst for the shift in the mindset. For me just to add to your research, yeah.

Molly Ketcham: 34:31

I was just exposed to it. It so when I joined this direct sales organization that I didn’t know even existed until I was 25 years old, and I saw what everyone in there was doing and what they believed and what they were creating and achieving and the changes they were making in their lives. That was my reason for shifting Like that. That was the education that I needed in order to change. Up until that point, I really did believe that what I was given in life was all I was going to. You know, like I was being paid $20,000 working at a convention center a little tiny convention center and I thought, well, this is like, okay, maybe I’ll make my little incremental changes, but there’s not going to be much more to it, because this is what I’ve decided I’m going to do. And that was just the lot that I had in life. But when I was exposed to so many people that had this change happen for them, it’s almost like I just borrowed their belief.

Todd Bertsch: 35:45

Well, that’s the contagion effect.

Molly Ketcham: 35:47

Okay, there you go. So, yes, you could recreate or simulate trauma, but perhaps it’s just a story, it’s just someone who you can truly connect with and relate to, who has made a big change in their life, and you think, oh, maybe that could happen for me too, right, I don’t know, you’re the one that’s going to do the research and dive into it.

Todd Bertsch: 36:18

No, but you’re right, you’re right. One that’s going to do the research and dive into it. No, but you’re right, you’re right how?

Molly Ketcham: 36:21

Like open to the idea. That’s interesting.

Todd Bertsch: 36:23

We could talk, but they need to sign up to go to the talk. We could write a book, but they need to be curious enough to get the book or buy the book right so there’s still.

Molly Ketcham: 36:34

that’s the piece, that’s the piece that isn’t really talked about and I’m trying to get to.

Todd Bertsch: 36:42

Well, it’s the season of their life too, right it is, it’s the.

Molly Ketcham: 36:44

You know the phrase. The student? No, the teacher arrives when the student is ready the teacher. We can always be there sharing the message, but only when they are ready, and how you make them ready. That’s a great endeavor. I wish you luck. Yeah, and I don’t know?

Todd Bertsch: 37:04

Yeah, I haven’t found any research that anybody’s solved it. Yeah, it’s a difficult thing, right, so you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink it. Yeah, so I don’t know. I keep going back to hope, which is we all had, and back to curiosity. We all that’s why so my whole path started with curiosity. And I feel like I’m coming back to that because we all had it so if you know that you’ve had it. You think it makes it easier to think. Then I can get it again.

Molly Ketcham: 37:42

Right? Well then, I like your idea of going back to our childhood. Let’s remind ourselves of what we truly enjoyed doing and being when we were kids. I’ve gotten so far away from it before I started exploring it which I have recently because I’m curious enough, right? So if in my own growth and development that I’ve been, there’ve been moments I’ve gone back and I thought, oh yeah, I loved to be on stage and oh my gosh, yes, I loved playing the piano for those 20 years that I played. So maybe that is it. Maybe it is taking you back to when you were just innately curious and remembering those times and what made you really happy. Yeah.

Molly Ketcham: 38:32

Good luck.

Todd Bertsch: 38:33

Yeah right, yeah Right. So let’s talk more about your, your talks and what you’re doing where you’re headed with curiosity.

Molly Ketcham: 38:45

Okay, yeah, the curiosity piece that I have right now that I share in my keynotes is using curiosity as a tool to build influence by connecting with others, and it’s on those different levels that I mentioned In my keynote. I walk the audience through a conversation from hello to goodbye, and I do talk about mindset because a lot of it is mindset. Curiosity is woven throughout of it is mindset, curiosity is woven throughout. But we do talk about how to really make that connection with someone and close that interaction gracefully so that you leave a positive, lasting impression on someone. And, yes, curiosity is a big part of it.

Molly Ketcham: 39:36

So that’s the keynote that I have right now and I call it the power of curiosity. It’s very fun for opening a convention because I give people tips and strategies and we even practice a little bit about the kinds of questions that you ask and paying attention to am I listening or is my mind wandering? Attention to am I listening or is my mind wandering? And how to respond authentically and not talk forever, because when you keep talking you lose people’s attention. So I share a lot of strategies and takeaways in the keynote and then it’s great because if they’ve learned it first thing, they have the rest of the conference to practice and build those you know really, and that’s why they’re there is to network and meet people.

Molly Ketcham: 40:25

So that is the power of curiosity, or the curiosity connection which. I’ve also thought about shifting the title, because it’s it’s not just we’ve. I mean, curiosity has so many facets. We’ve already talked about the mindset of growth and fixed. But because my curiosity is directed at connecting with others, I played around with changing the title to the Curious Connector, the Curiosity Connection.

Todd Bertsch: 40:53

I like actually I like that.

Molly Ketcham: 40:54

The Curiosity Connection. Yeah, all right. Yeah, thank you Well.

Todd Bertsch: 40:57

I like the alliteration too, but yeah, yes. I think that makes a lot of sense, because that’s what you’re doing and connection is so important. So how do you, do you talk? At all about the new workplace, with people not being in the office at all or hybrid? Is creating that connection even more challenging, and can curiosity help that?

Molly Ketcham: 41:26

Oh yeah, I think curiosity comes into play big time when you are not in person with someone. When you’re in person, you have all the clues, you have the nonverbal.

Todd Bertsch: 41:37

Right in person.

Molly Ketcham: 41:38

You have all the clues, you have the nonverbal and you can feel the vibration, the energy and the frequency between two people and you can try to match that. But when you don’t have it, then you really need to rely on the context, the words that are being shared and some tone of voice right that are being shared and some tone of voice right. I went through a when I was still working. I was assigned a team of a new client that our company had acquired and I was working with six meeting planners who did not want to work with me. They had just fired their previous procurement company. And then here we come and I’m going to help them and solve all their problems. They did not trust me, they didn’t want to work with me. So I had to build this relationship and I had to do it long distance because this was before video, so I had no visuals, I only had phone and email.

Todd Bertsch: 42:36

Oh boy.

Molly Ketcham: 42:37

Yeah, and so so you really have to tune into the tone Phone obviously is much easier because now you have tone of voice. But yes, bill, I mean it’s so important to just pay attention, just be wondering about what someone else is going through, like use that I wonder phrase, and that’s what I talk about when it comes to curiosity. I wonder what they’ve gone through today or what their morning looks like, or you know what they’re experiencing on their in their inbox right now. That’s causing this, either tension or whatever the challenges that you’re dealing with. But yeah, you really have to get curious to build those long distance or not in-person relationships.

Todd Bertsch: 43:27

Yeah, yeah, it’s tough Any way, you go about it, right? We’re just faced with so many challenges right now Disengagement, burnout, depression, it’s like is there anything? Is there anything good about the workplace these days?

Molly Ketcham: 43:43

Some people might argue they love working from home and that is good.

Todd Bertsch: 43:46

Yeah, no, and we have a work your way policy. However you want, right, you finally get a good team. I don’t want to lose them. Yeah.

Todd Bertsch: 43:55

Doesn’t mean I need to love it, but that was kind of a catalyst for me thinking that I needed to pivot and transition, because a big part of my happiness is connections and I just don’t love Zoom or Teams. I just don’t. So, sorry, I get it. It’s great for what it is, but I would rather do this. I want to feel the vibe, the energy, get the cues and I I can really connect with somebody that way and I just love people so um so it makes those.

Molly Ketcham: 44:29

So. When people are working from home and you’re on the phone, it makes that conversation so important, right, it’s the things that you talk about and how you talk about it and how you relate to them. In that conversation it’s going to be so important. So, using the curiosity to ask the right questions not just you know what’d you do this weekend, but what was your favorite part of the weekend and why. And then that goes deeper. It helps you understand what someone else might be experiencing and then you can relate to that.

Molly Ketcham: 45:08

And if you can relate to that and guide that in certain directions, maybe there’s more opportunities for them to do those things that they love doing. And maybe you, as the leader or their manager, you can help them achieve that. And then now you’ve built a more like they. Oh, he listens to me, she trusts, she understands me, and there’s that trust there and they’re more likely to stay engaged with you. So those conversations, those one-on-ones when we are not in person, are so important. Listen to the noises in the background, See if you can pick up on their emotional cues of you know in their voice and address it. Don’t just blow past it. You know, ask about it and they’ll think okay, he’s really wondering about me, cares about me, and the relationship will just take over from there, go deeper from there.

Todd Bertsch: 46:07

Yeah, I love that word care that you just said. And I think it is very tied to the hip with wonder and curiosity, right? Because you’re just not asking the same old questions that lead to nothing really just more information, but you’re really genuinely trying to dig a little bit deeper, which typically takes more time.

Molly Ketcham: 46:31

Time. Yes, you do have to take the time, but you also have to pay attention to it. You have to think, because how many times do we think, oh, I see what is happening here. But you also have to pay attention to it. You have to think, because how many times do we think, oh, I see what is happening here, but I need to get this work done right so yes, you blow past it, but it would take 60 seconds to ask that question and it could pay dividends in the future right.

Molly Ketcham: 46:53

It’s like an investment.

Todd Bertsch: 46:55

Absolutely.

Molly Ketcham: 46:56

Yeah.

Todd Bertsch: 46:57

Cool. So what gets you? What are you most curious about right now?

Molly Ketcham: 47:03

I love that question. Right now, what I’m diving into is that deeper level of curiosity and two people relating and connecting, and that is the energy aspect of it, the vibrations I’m diving into. I’m a classically trained pianist and so I’m using my music right now musical background and interest to explore how sound and vibration affects the body and how we are vibrating at a certain level. We’ve and multiple levels throughout the day right Based on our emotion.

Molly Ketcham: 47:44

When you come into an interaction with another person and you are genuinely wanting to connect and you are curious enough to figure out what they’ve got going on, you can pay attention to their energy, their vibration, their emotions and attune to it. So bring yourself in harmony with them, and I think that is a really deep level of connection. I think it’s something that I have innately done, and now I’m just trying to figure out what that is that I’ve been doing and put words to it so that I can share, because on stage, when I talk about, ask these questions and think positive thoughts before you go into, like that’s that is one technique and and I love that, but I think that also innately, when I come into a conversation or interaction and I bet many people do this. They just pay attention to the emotion and what might be going on in someone else’s inner world. Be going on in someone else’s inner world and then matching yours to theirs.

Molly Ketcham: 48:59

When you match it, you can raise the level, you can lower it if it’s a little too high and chaotic, but you got to meet them where they are in order to bring them down or bring them up, and I think that’s influence right there. Right, if you need to guide or want to guide or help people make good choices or move in certain directions not manipulatively right, but out of care and concern and love then I think attuning to them is the way to go. So that’s what I’m diving into right now.

Todd Bertsch: 49:39

I love that we talk a lot about that in positive intelligence in my coaching practice. Really. About mirroring and the contagion effect. So what you bring, so an extra dose of positivity to it to hopefully help shift them out of some of the negativity to positivity. It takes three positive actions to negate one negative action.

Molly Ketcham: 50:16

Yeah.

Todd Bertsch: 50:17

That’s how powerful negativity is unfortunately Three to one ratio. Yeah, Interesting right.

Molly Ketcham: 50:24

That is interesting In an interaction as well. So if someone comes in negative, you have to hit them three times with positive. That’s really interesting.

Todd Bertsch: 50:37

But it could be what you say, your posture, your tone, your vibe, that energy right.

Todd Bertsch: 50:44

So it could be a number of those things that hit all aspects right. So it could be a number of those things that hit all aspects. And what I say too and this I think this is a big part of what you bring is simply the smile. We forget or we don’t know, we’re not educated on how powerful a smile is, and I did a whole podcast on it. But your smile is incredible. You are always. But let’s just, let’s be honest, like I mean, it’s a great smile and you’re always smiling and that’s just I don’t know. It’s inviting.

Todd Bertsch: 51:18

It’s warm it makes me want to sit down and have a conversation with you and get to know you more. Right and it’s. You know, there’s that hit of dopamine that we get when we smile and it just puts us in a different mindset. It’s so powerful.

Molly Ketcham: 51:34

I think it does make a huge difference when you there’s studies show that show that, um, happy faces are judged as more trustworthy. So I think you’re absolutely right and if you go into an interaction with a smile, that’s the way. Now I’m going back to your angry customer example. Maybe the customer needs to know that you’re concerned too, but hit them with a smile later. But yeah, I do agree with you that the smile really makes a difference.

Todd Bertsch: 52:07

Absolutely, as you’re smiling.

Molly Ketcham: 52:09

Thank you, that made me smile. Yeah.

Todd Bertsch: 52:13

Right, well, this is. This has been really interesting. I love and I love the new stuff that you’re doing. I can’t wait to see where you go with it.

Molly Ketcham: 52:23

Thank you.

Todd Bertsch: 52:24

That’s really unique and different. Um, and I I do believe there’s something there for sure.

Molly Ketcham: 52:30

Thank you. I can’t wait to see it come to fruition. Right.

Molly Ketcham: 52:37

I want the piano on stage. I want to use it as a metaphor, as an example. I want there to be visuals to really create an experience for the audience so that they can just start to become aware and the awareness again from the fixed mindset. If you bring some awareness and some possibility to them, then I think that you might just you never know if it’s their time, if it’s the right time for them to have that aha moment and think, okay, you know what? Yes, there is more to life, there’s more possibility. So, yes, let’s keep doing that as thought leaders and as speakers and as podcasters, let’s keep talking about it, because you never know when we might hit that person that is ready for the message.

Todd Bertsch: 53:33

Yeah, that’s right, that’s just it.

Molly Ketcham: 53:35

Yeah.

Todd Bertsch: 53:36

We just need to be out there as leaders too. Yeah. So well, if you could leave with one message to our audience, what would that be? If somebody’s in a rut or they’re stuck, they’re just looking for that piece of inspiration. What would you say to them?

Molly Ketcham: 54:06

Stay curious. It’s all about curiosity. Just look for the answers. Look first inside, question everything, question why, but also question what, maybe? Why is this happening? And then what could I do to make a change? What could I do to make it better? What does it look like in the future for me with that new outlook, that positive outlook? But it all starts with the questions and the curiosity, right, yeah, awesome. Well, thanks.

Todd Bertsch: 54:47

Molly with the questions and the curiosity Right. Yep, awesome. Well, thanks, molly, I’ve enjoyed this conversation today.

Molly Ketcham: 54:53

Me too, thank you.

Todd Bertsch: 54:55

Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Bolt Podcast. I appreciate you spending some time with us today and it’s been a pleasure being part of your journey toward growth, transformation and leadership. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please like, share and leave a review. It truly helps us reach more people like you, interested in taking your leadership to the next level. Visit toddbirchcom to learn more about my keynote speaking, corporate training programs and my positive intelligence coaching. Look, I’m here to help you build the mental resilience and leadership skills that drive lasting change. And remember progress comes from small, consistent steps. Keep moving forward, my friends.

Todd Bertsch: 55:40

And before we wrap, a quick reminder the information shared on the Bolt Podcast, along with anything from ToddBertsch. com or my social media channels, is for informational and educational purposes only. We all need support and if you’re seeking meaningful guidance, one of the best things you can do is talk to a licensed professional, whether that’s a physician, therapist or coach. They can provide the support and care you deserve. The content on this podcast is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Thank you for being here. I appreciate help is always available when you need it. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you and we’ll see you next time.